Saturday, October 18, 2008
nee!!
why's everyone suddenly acting wierdly?
suddenly my own friends are acting like they don't like me.
why? ? ? ? ? ? ?
was it just me or was Asmaa avoiding me again?
it was like she was doing everything to get away from me.
she didn't even smile at me.
well, maybe cuz i didn't smile at her first, but why do I always have to be the first to smile.
she's already breaking her promise to "try and smile more".
and what's up with Farah? she gets all defensive at the slightest irk.
and recently it's been like, "oh, i can't live without asmaa, i don't care about anyone else."
i mean, sure, i hang out with Ria alot now, mostly because i'm sitting next to her.
even so, she kinda forgets about me with Farah around.
then again, Farah forgets about me when asmaa is around.
and asmaa, she doesn't need anyone to forget about me. (lol)
but it's not like i don't forget any of them.
it's just, all of that wierd behaviour's been really weighing down on me lately.
maybe it's gotten worse, or i'm just paranoid.
and trust me, i'd love to say that i'm just paranoid.
and then Saffie, she's neutral most of the time, but seems more comfortable with Asmaa.
-sigh- smay's more loved than she thinks she is.
and me? i'm just a banana peel tossed aside only to trip someone seconds after.
but it's not like i don't have any other friends.
like Dal, but she's got her own clique.
so does Amy.
TT^TT
so i guess the main question now is what am i doing wrong? is God mad at me?
it's really difficult. it's REALLY difficult.
-sigh-
so anyway, today's probably the last day i'll see Cher Sarinah for a long time.
it's sad, really sad.
oh cher, i'll really miss you. ='(
//X_X\\
~zaf~
;
5:00 AM
***
who? who?? ME!
